There’s nothing like an Australian tourism ad

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Because no one else in the world could make one as cringeworthy as this!

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This is the new Tourism Australia There’s nothing like Australia ad that is the centrepiece of a $150 million advertising campaign to market (or re-market) Australia to the world, following the miserable failure of the ‘Where the bloody hell are you’ campaign that featured Lara ‘the sportsmans’ tart’ Bingle. I agree with the many on-line critical comments that the ad is “embarrassing’’, “tacky” and “cheesy’’ and that “The soundtrack sounds like it was ripped out of a Monty Python movie”. The problem with this ad, and with the Bingle ad, is that it is too desperate and tries too hard. It’s like we’re saying, “Please come and see us, we’re a pretty good place, really”.

Contrast this approach with the laconic, laid back and ‘take it or leave it’ style of the highly successful Paul Hogan ads of the mid 1980s. Do yourself a favour and have a look at them (click on “more” below) because, love him or hate him, Hogan simply put it across that Australia was a great place to visit and you’re welcome. He just sold the product for what it was and left it up to the viewers to make the decision to come or not. And they did. Maybe they should just re-run Hoges?

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The Herald Sun’s “friends”

This

says

it

all

Mining tax ads

Instead of spending $38 million promoting its new mining tax proposal why doesn’t the Rudd government simply run the original clip (*) of Midnight Oil’s ‘Blue Sky Mine’ featuring front man turned government minister Peter Garrett? While the song was specifically aimed at mining company CSR and its treatment of asbestos victims, its message is essentially the same – mining companies reap massive profits from the minerals in our soil, leave massive holes in the ground and do not have the greatest social conscience. A bit of jiggling with the lyrics and presto – you’ve got the perfect low-budget ad to sell the message. (* Youtube has disabled embedding of the original video that carries great footage of the mining industry so, instead, I give you this one recorded at the MCG bushfire relief concert last year. The original clip can be seen HERE):

Eurovison – and the winner is:

If you like artists like Wham, Madonna, Abba & Kylie Minogue you probably think the Eurovision song contest is a class act.

Germany

Germany won the contest in Oslo with the punchy pop ballad Satellite sung by Lena Meyer-Landrut.

Not that I care one little bit. I reckon the Eurovision song contest is a celebration of bad taste & crap music. It’s real lightweight pop appreciated only by those who have no appreciation for music.

What amazes me though, is the level of Australian interest in this annual tribute to cheesy songs performed by daggy artists. So much so that hordes of people go out of their way to avoid hearing the result before they watch the replay on TV (tonight, I think, but I don’t care). Even the Herald Sun has a “Spoiler Alert” on its website, warning readers to “tune out” if they don’t want to know the result. Not me though. I am proud to spoil this for those who think (somehow) that Eurovision has any artistic, music or cultural significance whatsoever:

AFL round 10 ‘expert’ tips

It’s TRIBUTE round

Don’t ask me why but this week I’ve decided to dedicate the footy post to Sam & Dave, the greatest soul-singing, live double act you could ever hope to see. This clip from their 1966 tour of Europe features their rather appropriately named signature song, ‘Hold on I’m coming’.

These guys may not deserve a Sainthood but boy, can they perform or what?:

Got it? Here are the ‘expert’ tips with last week’s results & Y.T.D. in brackets:

Imagine …

… if this had actually happened:

Date: 7 February 2009 (Black Saturday)

The scene: The Integrated Emergency Co-ordination Centre, Melbourne Victoria

Present: Police chief commissioner Christine Nixon, CFA chief Russell Rees, CFA deputy Steve Warrington, DSE chief fire officer Ewan Waller and Emergency Services commissioner Bruce Esplin.

(Note: Please excuse the overuse of “the F word” here. I don’t normally use it this much but, in this context, I think it’s appropriate)

…………………………..

As it becomes clearer that the State is facing catastrophic fire outbreaks in what are the worst ever fire conditions in the State’s history, Christine Nixon calls the other senior officers to an emergency strategy meeting. Nixon, who has been at the centre since 7 am, has cancelled a hair appointment, a meeting with her biographer and a dinner booking in order to ensure she stays on deck and carries out her duties as the person “in charge” of the State’s emergency plans:

“Look you knuckleheads,

Why Abbott can’t win

Well, they need a bigger population.

This is not a comment on the asylum seeker issue per se, but on why I think Tony Abbott is totally unelectable and will be rejected as having no ideas of his own and no real vision for the country. 

Abbott has announced today (in what seems to be yet another policy-made-on-the-run-without-party-room-approval) that he would bring back a version of John Howard’s “Pacific Solution” to tackle illegal boat arrivals if he wins this year’s federal election. He said a Coalition government would build an off shore processing detention facility in another country but wouldn’t (or couldn’t) elaborate further. 

This is Tony’s idea of how he might win back office for the Liberals: 

After saying earlier this week he would not be an “action replay” of the Howard years, Mr Abbott said this policy had worked under the former government and he was happy to bring it back. 

Oh Geezus, Tony thinks we want the Howard years back! 

So let’s take a guess at which country Abbott thinks will let him build this concentration camp. 

Your guess is as good as his. 

He doesn’t know!

Here we go again!

Update: Looks like they’re in the clear ~ see foot of post.

As a St Kilda supporter I am not so one-eyed that I would back away from condemning the two (as yet un-named) players who allegedly had sex with a 16-year-old schoolgirl, who is now pregnant.

It’s simply not on, regardless of the fact she’s (barely) the age of consent and regardless of the fact they reportedly say she lied about her age. Even if it’s the case that they didn’t actually “meet” her per se at the school clinic and that, instead, she approached them in Sydney, it’s pretty dumb for professional footballers to get involved with young groupies (which is how they seem to be painting her).

Anyway, there’s no clarity on this situation yet, although it seems there is no suggestion of anything criminal having taken place. Nonetheless, it’s a real step backwards in the AFL player behaviour towards females issue. I think this excerpt sums up the status quo of the case for the time being:

Fraser’s resignation

“Life wasn’t meant to be easy” – not even for you Malcolm

I’m not sure why there is so much fuss being made over the news that former PM Malcolm Fraser has resigned from the Liberal Party  citing (reportedly) that the party he joined 50 years ago had become “too conservative”.

Earth to Malcolm: The Liberal Party has always been “too conservative”, and you’ve only noticed its deficiencies since you quit politics and (more to the point) since the little guy with the big glasses who you disliked and despised so much when he was your incompetent Treasurer - John Howard - became ‘the accidental PM’  in 1996. I think it really grated on you that Howard actually exceeded your record as the 2nd longest-serving Liberal PM behind Menzies (your idol). You Liberals (sorry ex-Liberals) really do seem to have a thing about proving yourself via longevity rather than by actually doing anything worthwhile.

Well that’s my rant, but seriously, it’s all very well for Fraser in retirement to turn Statesman and a champion of human rights – and he definitely earns respect for expressing those views - but how much of his post-PM motivation comes from his deep-seated urge to be noted in history as, not only a long-serving PM, but as one who actually stood for something apart from his own ambitions? Let me explain:

Julie Bishop – it’s official …

And she's cross-eyed!

… she really is the biggest idiot ever to occupy such a high position

Take a look at this photo of the Liberal Party’s deputy leader, Julie Bishop. What do you see?

Okay, she is certainly cross-eyed but let’s not hold that against her. Instead, let’s just be sure that this woman is the biggest idiot ever to reach such lofty heights in Federal Parliament.

Her absurd (and potentially dangerous) claim that “the Australian Government forges passports” marks her forever as:

Air Head #1

This week’s bargains @ Woolies in Bright

Well, this should take care of lunch for the whole week:

A very smart meter

A caller to Joseph Thomsen’s ABC Local Radio program today has claimed that the State Government’s new ‘Smart (Electricity) Meters’ that are eventually to be installed in all homes, have a secret second purpose – to act as listening devices.

The caller said the technician installing a Smart Meter at his home had told him that Government agencies like the police will use satellites to connect to the meter and eavesdrop on all conversations taking place in the house!

I like a technician with a sense of humour.

Post #20 ~ Twitter

This post might also be just me helping to bring the average up, but there is actually a point to it. 

There’s been a lot of (non) news stories lately derived from the tweets of people like Catherine Devney, Kristina Keneally and so on. In my opinion though, Twitter is one of the more ridiculous diversions the Internet has taken, although I know there are many who would disagree and fair enough – you obviously need something trivial to fill your boring lives.

Just to illustrate my point (that Twitter is a total waste of time) I ask you this simple question:

Have you ever seen a single Tweet that was worth reading?

Please enlighten me. What specific tweet have you read that was worth the trouble of reading, and why?

Post #19

Geelong's worst nightmare?

The reason for this post is partly because I need to write more posts.

But it’s also partly because Baldrick said this about his beloved Geelong after they disposed of Collingwood in the most boring ‘game of the year’ ever seen:

Are we best side in the comp at the moment, I think we’re pretty close.

Are we better than St.Kilda, yes we are.

Yeah?

Well read the headlines to the left … 

… and shudder!

Post #18

In the sidebar to the right here there is a heading “Old Stuff” under which you can find archives of posts sorted by month.

I just noticed that so far I’ve only written 17 posts for May and, as today is the 24th, I’m running well behind my average of at least one new post per day. No wonder it’s been dropping off.

It’s not really my fault because I don’t like to post about trivia and (okay, you can stop laughing now), quite frankly, there has not been a lot of worthy news content to comment on lately.

So here is post #18, just to keep up the numbers.

Yes that’s all …. That’s it.

Well, what else did you want me to say?