Hey, it’s 1994

She might be better off than all of us.

This story about a British woman stuck in a real life Groundhog Day  would be funny if it were not so sad.  Michelle Philpots has had no short-term memory since 1994 due to head injuries she suffered years before then. Her memory constantly resets itself meaning she wakes up every morning thinking it’s 16 years ago:

 “I can really relate to the film Groundhog Day. When I wake up everything outside my window is the same, its hard to explain, but everyday to me is the same normal day. It’s like I am living the same day after day.”

From reading the article it seems that Michelle’s entire memory is wiped, as she also has no recollection of events before 1994, so it’s not exactly a Groundhog Day experience, in that she starts each day knowing bugger all. BUT this has got me wondering what it really would be like to wake up every day thinking it’s still 1994. For instance: 

• Liberal voter walks into work: “I’m so glad Alexander Downer has got the job as Opposition leader; he’ll be our next PM”.
• Home buyer calls real estate agent: “Right, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to make an offer on that lovely 2-storey terrace house in Albert Park, but the $150,000 they’re asking is far too much.”

What else would you think, say or do if you woke up believing that you’re still in 1994? Here are a few more examples:

• Angry footy fan calls talkback radio: “Where the bloody hell are Fitzroy playing this week?”
• Greens voter calls friend: “I’m sooooo looking forward to seeing Peter Garrett & Midnight Oil tonight. I’m soooooo glad he hasn’t sold out to the major political parties and is just sticking to the one & only thing he knows how to do.”
• Yuppie to wife: “Geezus, my mobile phone has shrunk.”
• Yuppie Wife to hubbie: “Where’s my dress with the big padded shoulders?”
• Yuppies’ kid to school friend: “What the hell is Facebook?”
• Me to myself (after looking in the mirror): “Christ I’ve aged. I’m giving up the booze today.”
• Paul Keating to the press: “John Howard is finished; you can’t resurrect the political dead.”
• Computer geek to parents: “Alright, who replaced my computer with a widescreen TV?”

I’m sure you can do better than that.

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