AFL round 18 ‘expert’ tips

It’s “What is the point?” round

What is the point of playing any more home & away games? What is the point in even playing the finals?

It’s all over. Collingwood has already won the premiership – haven’t you heard?

Anyway, here are the pointless tips in this pointless round in the year that Collingwood conquered all (except for the game where they only kicked 4 goals against … you know who):

AFL round 17 ‘expert’ tips

There’s no mucking around this week. Let’s get straight into it:

Election 2010 open thread

No, I haven’t reactivated the blog. I’ve simply put this post up for any comment people want to make during the election campaign. I’ll kick it off with this issue:

The Greens preference deal that Bob “had nothing to do with!”

The deal means that the Greens will direct preferences to the ALP in about 50 marginal Lower House seats, which should help Labor maintain the normal 80% flow they get from Greens votes anyway. In return, the ALP will give the Greens preferences in the Senate almost guaranteeing that the Greens will hold the balance of power in the upper house. Thankfully, it also guarantees that we have seen the last of Senator Steve ‘nutjob’ Fielding.

BUT, what the hell is going on with Greens leader Bob Brown? 

AFL round 16 ‘expert’ tips

It’s ‘political insults’ round

"No Bob, I said you can shove your book up your backside, not in your ear."

There are no riveting or ground-breaking footy stories for the intro this week. But, as former PM Paul Keating is also the former #1 ticket holder @ the ‘Club of arseholes’ (which is the only thing I didn’t like about him), I think it’s okay to bring the Keating/Hawke stoush (over the Bimbo Blanche book) into the fray of AFL footy. Don’t you just love Keating’s insults?:

AFL round 15 ‘expert’ tips

Dumber than an octopus, we trudge on

The news from Germany that the fate of their World Cup soccer team was determined by an underwater blob with 8 testicles tentacles comes as no surprise to those of us who knew all along that any team with a diminutive, sharp-shooting striker and goal sneak named Schneider is a monty to take out the big prize anyway. Schneider the soccer player hails from Holland/Netherlands/Dutchville (call it what you will) and is my tip to kick the winning goal in Monday’s final as well as taking out the player of the series award. The other Schneider (who, by the way, looks more Dutch than the Dutch) is St Kilda’s secret weapon. I just hope that if the Saints make the GF again this year, he manages to kick straight. Enough waffle. Here are the ‘expert’ tips as forecast by the Melbourne Aquarium:

AFL round 14 ‘expert’ tips

It’s Handbag Round

Following Geelong’s dummy spit and “they hit us” squibbing of last week, the AFL has declared round 14 Handbag Round in honour of the Geelong handbaggers who can’t take a bit of punishment and who definitely can’t take being beaten by their nemesis, especially when they only manage 6 goals, and especially when they don’t kick a goal after the 16 minute mark of the 2nd quarter.

Hereafter special rules will be introduced for round 14 every year that include: (1) Tackling a Geelong player – 2 weeks suspension (2) Saying “boo” to a Geelong player – 2 weeks suspension (3) Looking sideways at a Geelong player – 2 weeks suspension (4) Being stupid enough to put your head at the end of a Geelong player’s flying elbow and having your eye split open – 9 weeks suspension. Well, it worked last week! Here are the ‘expert’ tips with last week’s results …. etc: