Gala Day stuff up

Um, we've all got mothers, you know?

Or ‘Mother’s Day Massacre’?

The organisers of Bright’s Autumn Festival have conceded that bookings for this year’s Gala Day weekend (May 6-8th) are well down on previous years (I’ll say they are!) and are predicting a much lower turnout.

In an article in today’s BorderMail  they try to explain why. But I think they’re wrong and possibly in denial about the real cause of this stuff up:

Event organiser Helen Doyle said the festival’s proximity to the five-day Easter long weekend would affect visitor numbers, with a large amount of accommodation in the town still available.

“There’s certainly accommodation still available, we’ve still got some bus tours coming, we just think some of the family entries may be down a little bit.”

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Get it over with!

Are you watching the Royal Wedding coverage right now?

Well obviously, if you’re reading this, you’re not.

Neither am I. But Leanne is.

She’s got until 8.30 - that’s when the footy starts. Will it be over by then?

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Only two days to go …

The Alpine council is closing in on a new high,  or will it be a new low?

You’ll have to wait another two days or so to find out.

AFL round 6 (2011) ‘expert’ tips

2011 ~ The battle of 'the uglies'

It’s ‘Danger Round’

The 2011 season is already in danger of becoming a two-horse race between Geelong and – gasp, gulp, horror, spew – bloody Collingwood.

It’s almost a given that these two ugly sides will fill the top 2 positions on the ladder at the end of the year and it’s just a matter of who the hell else can grab 3rd or 4th spot, which are, in effect, the same thing as finishing 1 or 2 (unless you’re an interstate side).

I reckon Freo has a sniff of a chance at the moment but I doubt their ability to win a final over here in Victoria. This is looking like the season from hell and we’ll all be bored to tears watching 15 other sides waste their time over the next 18 weeks. 

Ho hum … here are the ’expert’ tips on what shapes as a bloody dangerous round for tipping too. Last week’s results & YTD in brackets:

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The Chaser ban

The Chasers - living proof that Aussie TV comedy is crap.

Quite frankly, all this fuss being made over the royal wedding bores me to tears.

HOWEVER, I have no problem with the royal family’s decision to impose a media ban on the proposed so-called satirical coverage of the event by Australia’s cringeworthy & humourless bores known as The Chasers, because:

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Three days to go

I wonder if they can do it?

I’m sure they can.

Sorry, I can’t give you more detail than that except to say that I’m talking about the Alpine Shire Council.

Come on, don’t let us down … you can do it!

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Pay the bill, Bella

You ordered them. You ate them. You pay!

Some people will do anything for a free meal

You might think I’m being a bit cruel here but, let’s face it.

If you go to a cheap Chinese restaurant and order the cheapest of all the cheap dishes, Chinese dumplings, and then you guts them down so fast that you get an angina attack and think you’re gunna die … stiff shit. Pay the bill!:

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Easter footy famine

What is wrong with the AFL? Don’t answer that, it’s a rhetorical question – Andrew Demetriou is what’s wrong. Him and his sidekick, boy ‘genius’ operations manager Adrian Anderson. Adrian who? These two couldn’t run a decent chook raffle, let alone the biggest sporting competition in the country. Take a look at this schedule for Rd 5 played over the 5 days of the Easter holidays – it’s got holes everywhere. It’s bad enough that there are only 14 of the 17 teams playing but look at these ‘highlights’:

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A simple solution

Whose side are the banks on? Their customers or the insurers?

With banks about to demand mortgage repayments from flood victims, many of whom are having difficulty getting their insurance claims settled due to the definition of ‘flood’ and ‘storm water’, I’ve got a simple solution for them:

Go and get the money from the insurers yourself!

This suggestion isn’t as simplistically defiant as it may seem. Think about it – if the insurance companies had to deal with the banks over the legitimacy of these claims, how many do you think would be declined? About zero, I’d suggest. The banks have enough financial clout (and lawyers) to force these scumbag insurers into doing the right thing and cough up. Maybe the government should think about engrossing this type of issue (banks accepting responsibility for pursuing insurance claims on houses they have a mortgage over) into legislation. It’d speed things up and save a lot of heartache and misery for flood victims

AFL round 5 (2011) ‘expert’ tips

The 'Let's play on Good Friday' group has donated this banner to Monday's Anzac Day clash ~ as a subtle hint.

It’s ‘For Christ’s sake’ round

If the AFL reckons a tribute game played on every Anzac Day is a suitable way of ”paying respect” then what is wrong with playing a game on Good Friday? Look, I am not religious – and I do not wish to offend those who are (*) - but, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, let’s play footy on Good Friday!

(*Yes, I know … I’m going straight to hell for this) 

Here are the ‘expert’ tips with last week’s results & YTD in brackets. There are only 7 games .. again! Welcome to the expanding shrinking AFL:

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Abbott backs “The Voice”

Do you reckon he drinks?

And what a wonderful Deputy PM he’d make!

I wonder if Tony Abbott realises what a giant free kick he has just given Julia Gillard to take to the next election.

Abbott has praised Queensland National Party Senator Barnaby Joyce as the “authentic voice of regional Australia” and endorsed his proposed move to the lower house. 

But Joyce’s move is a barely disguised bid to become the Nats next leader and (thereby) Abbott’s Deputy PM in waiting:

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Twitter is for nerds

I don’t use Twitter and I fail to see the attraction of sending & receiving short, inane gibberish about ‘what I’m doing right now’ or trying to condense what I think of this, that and the other issue of the day into 140 characters. It never comes out right. I reckon Twitter is actually a backwards step in communication, not an advance. But that’s just my opinion. I realise many of the users think it’s a great way to get in touch with a lot of new people but, I ask you, why would you want to get in touch with a bunch of nerds you’ve never met? You see, I reckon Twitter is for nerds … and this photo from The Australian of their founding CEO Jack Dorsey proves it: 

Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Twitter - SUPER NERD.

AFL round 4 (2011) ‘expert’ tips

The AFL is run by a bunch of cowboys.

It’s ‘Round Seven’ …..… huh?

There are only 7 games this week. I dunno why – I thought increasing the comp to 17 teams was supposed to give us more footy, not less – but maybe this is the AFL’s idea of progress. Good idea to include the Gold Coast, huh? Anyway, the Saints (and 2 other teams) have the bye this week, so my interest level is about zero in what has to be the most predictable round of results ever.

We’ll all get a ‘magnificent (& perfect) 7′ for sure.

Here are the ‘expert’ tips with last week’s results & YTD in brackets. Enjoy:

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AFL round 3 (2011) ‘expert’ tips

It’s ‘Cakewalk round’

Oh the premiership’s a cakewalk for the good ol’ Collingwood … or so the song goes. After 2 rounds and two crushing wins against very ordinary opposition, you could be forgiven for thinking that season 2011 is all over and the premiership is Collingwood’s already.

And next year’s too, according to their past champions.

GIVE ME A BREAK. Please.

It’s only bloody round 3 and … oh, I haven’t finished the post yet. I’ll do it later but everyone has gone for Collingwood over Carlton tonight, including me. Because it’s a cakewalk. Bloody hell! here are the ‘expert’ tips with Y.T.D. in brackets:

The Alpine cattle grazing issue

The Baillieu Government only manages the National Parks, it DOES NOT own them!

D-Day for Baillieu and the mountain ‘cowboys’

Today is the deadline for the Victorian Liberal Government to ensure the removal of the cattle that it allowed back into our Alpine National Parks in January under the guise that it was a ‘scientific trial’ to determine if their presence reduced the impact of bushfires. 

The reason I have called the so-called trial a ‘guise’ is because (a) there has been no study conducted, even though the cattle have been there for 3 months and (b) the scientist nominated to head up this trial has still not had his appointment confirmed and seems to be at odds with the validity and terms of the so-called study. If it were a genuine ‘scientific trial’ then why send the cattle back before sorting out the details? Why? Well, in my opinion, Baillieu has simply caved in to his minor coalition partners, the Nats, and the rather angry (and arrogant) mountain cattleman’s association.

If you want an example of the arrogance of this group, look no further than the outspoken Philip Maguire from Bundarrah station, near Omeo, up this way.