The new VB

It’s UnAustralian

If you thought Kraft Foods branding new Vegemite as iSnack 2.0 was bad, just look what’s happened now to our biggest Aussie icon, Victoria Bitter. This is just taking things too far.

Carlton and United Breweries have cut the alcohol content of Victoria Bitter by 0.2 per cent - ostensibly to save tens of millions of dollars a year in beer tax and prevent a price rise - while promising the taste would be unchanged.

But it’s not so. According to this report in the Herald Sun , many regular VB drinkers claim there has been a definite flavour change, describing the new brew as “yuppie beer” and “having no bite”.

Port Fairy plasterer Peter Glennen describes himself as a “career drinker” of VB but now says he is “divorcing CUB for ruining it”. “It’s personal … a lot of people view beer like a religion, and you can’t mess with someone’s religion,” Mr Glennen said.

God save us.

Event of the year

10,000 bogans, rednecks & yobbos can't be wrong ~ be there!

iSnack 2.0

Update: Kraft has dumped the new name after just 4 days following public ridicule. The company says it will now run a public ‘vote’ to decide on a replacement brand. Apparently Kraft registered iSnack2.0 along with two other trade names, Snackerific and Crackertime, on July 30. I don’t think the other names are any good either. There are suggestions that the ridiculous iSnack2.0 name was a publicity stunt designed to draw attention to the product. Hmm ….

Kraft’s ‘New Vegemite’ brand is not even original

The much criticised name for 'New Vegemite' is actually plagiarised from a South African energy bar.

Earlier this year Kraft Foods released its new Vegemite, not as a replacement for the old one but as a variation. The new product is a sickly mixture of Vegemite and cream cheese and, while it spreads more easily and is less salty, it literally looks like shit. Kraft ran a huge competition to give the product a name and, for some reason, chose to announce the winner (a 27-year-old nerdy web designer from Perth) and the new name – iSnack 2.0 - while Saturday’s AFL Grand Final was in full flight. Perhaps Kraft were hoping it would slip by unnoticed, which seems to suggest they knew it would not be well received.

September 11

There is something VERY significant about today’s date … Go on, take a wild guess.

What the … bus?

It's worth a caption ... but I'm just too gobsmacked to think of one.

I came across this photo at another blog I clicked onto. The author of the other blog made no comment about it whatsoever but I think it was taken in France (judging by the building and the flag in the background). I’m really hoping this bus line will open a franchise in Australia and use it to transport Collingwood supporters.

‘Terminatoring’ the language

Arny's a real 'killernator' of the English language.

The Herald Sun has invented a new word  to describe an AFL elimination final based, it seems, on the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie The Terminator and Arny’s subsequent description as the Governator of California:

Adelaide crushed Essendon in the lopsided eliminator last night.

So does a Qualifying Final become, a Qualifinator? 

What about: a Seminator, a Preliminator and of course, the Grandinator?

I guess there’s some basis for the Herald Sun’s mangling of the language in this instance, as Essendon were certainly terminated in an elimination match, hence the term eliminator. But how far do we take this?

What other words can we add ‘nator’ to the end of and thereby create a new word?

Does the Prime Minister become the Primenator? And should we call Malcolm Turnbull the Oppositionator? I’m sure there a lot of better ideas than those. Any suggestions?

How Tim Holding survived

Alpine Opinion has obtained exclusive footage of how the State Minister for Everything, Tim Holding, managed to survive for nearly 3 days lost in the wilderness around Mt Feathertop:

Holding found alive & well

Channel 7 & 9 await Tim Holding's partner to emerge after news broke that he had been found ~ Click on photo to enlarge.

Victorian Government Minister Tim Holding has just landed in Bright by helicopter after being found this morning, apparently in good health despite spending two nights lost in freezing conditions on Mt Feathertop. Holding’s partner, parents & other family members (who I can now reveal have been staying here @ GG since yesterday morning) rushed to the footy oval to be reconciled with him.

I took some other photos after Ms Whinett emerged but I’ll just leave it at the one above. It’s been high drama around here for the past 24 hours with police, Government ministers & officials coming and going. Somehow, early this morning, the media worked out that the family was staying here (under police guard) and started camping out the front around 9 am. Anyway – it’s all good news.

Missing on the mountain

UPDATE Tuesday 1 September 10 am: He’s been found ALIVE & WELL.

Why would anyone set out for such a difficult walk in those conditions?

The news that Victoria’s Minister for Water (and Tourism) Tim Holding is still missing on nearby Mt Feathertop after setting out from Harrietville on Saturday on a solo hike does not sound good. Two nights in those freezing conditions?

Third person blog bios

What is it about this increasing trend I’ve noticed for people who write blogs to describe themselves in their ‘bios’ in the third person, as though someone else had written it?

Do they think that somehow this gives them more credibilty and makes them sound more important?

I think it makes them sound like wankers. Eg:

JR’s ‘Phone Wars’

Guest post by: JR from Wodonga

I press the buttons for the number, select call, put the handset up to my ear and wait … the respondent announces words to the effect of, “Thank you for calling John P Bloggs & Co. (or whatever), Sharon speaking”. Now, at this point in time, I could have sworn I heard her speak, so why does she need to tell me she’s speaking? I’M NOT ENTIRELY DEAF!

Bundanoon’s ban on bottled water

Bundanoon seems similar to Bright - in more ways than one.

Town’s decision based on revenge and small-town mentality accidentally puts it on the map!

The national & international media is abuzz with the news  that the  tiny NSW Southern Highlands tourist town of Bundanoon has voted to ban the sale of bottled water, attracting attention from around the world.

While ostensibly the decision was made on ‘environmental’ and altruistic grounds, what the rest of the world does not yet realise is that the ‘ban’ seems to have come about as an act of malice and revenge against a company wishing to set up a new business and several shops in the town of just 2,500 people.

Who cares?

Later today the Williams sisters, Venus & Serena, will meet in the Wimbledon tennis final … for the fourth time!

What is wrong with womens’ tennis? These two have been around forever, Venus moves with all the grace of an ageing giraffe and Serena has the world’s largest arse, yet they’re still at the top.  

I have no idea who will win or who has won the most of their encounters. And I don’t care. I won’t be watching the most boring tennis final of all time. Why bother?

Help!

Outlook problem

(UPDATE: Problem fixed. I hired a ‘geek’ and he found a command to restore the settings – nothing else worked. I’ve never had a problem with Outlook before. Thanks everyone for your assistance)

I’m having a problem opening my Microsoft Outlook 2007 program, for emails. It starts to launch but then I get a pop-up saying, “Cannot open Outlook Window”.

Buggered if I can find any answers from Microsoft. Any ideas? Assistance greatly appreciated – free A.O. membership offered.

Lleyton Hewitt – so wrongly maligned

At least 'The Fanatics' love him. Well, they know how much heart he has.

It never ceases to amaze (and disappoint) me just how much Australians dislike their own Lleyton Hewitt. Yet anyone who has followed his progress into the quarter finals of the current Wimbledon tournament would have to agree he is playing impeccable tennis and, not only that, he is clearly handling himself as a great ambassador for this country.